bm13:

salmiakkivodka:

If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex

But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage

But homosexuality is bad

I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with

Since there’re so many songs talking about having sex with bitches and hoes, I just assumed they meant female dogs and gardening tools

pizza:

rockandkrull:

pizza:

i don’t understand why parents say ‘i’m very disappointed in you’ like i don’t care i’m very disappointed that mcdonalds doesn’t deliver but u don’t hear me complaining about it

actually in new york they deliver so whats your excuse

i live in australia and im 103% sure they don’t deliver from new york to australia so whats YOUR excuse for leaving a shitty comment on my text post 

andrewpauldost:

i just saw a post like “kids these days dont even know what a vhs is” like why do people think kids of modern day dont know about past events like i know what fucking morse code is but i dont use it to order a pizza

scribblenauts:

“hey we’re gonna order pizza”

“you have to finish your homework first”

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST